Saturday, September 24, 2011

ANTM Cycle 17 Episode 2 Recap/Review

Okay show, that is more like it. I am not going to lie, last week had me scared. ANTM felt like a totally different show, one that I was not all that excited to watch. This week, however, the show got back to its roots with makeovers and decent photo shoot. That is what I want to see. The fact of the matter is, these girls were brought back because of their personalities. They can provide entertaining television on their own, they do not need any help with a ton of producer-created bells and whistles. So it was really nice to see a pretty standard episode this week, where the focus was on our loveable bitches. Let's get to it! Roll the opening!

Uh, what was that? Why are they smearing the cake everywhere? Why is there even cake? How much did it suck for Brittany to have to do that after being eliminated? Also no Tyra, I would not like any. Crazy.

The prizes this time are pretty great. I am actually impressed the show has them. Clearly, some favors were called in, or blowjobs performed. Never underestimate the power of that. Anyways, I will not go over the prizes again, because you will hear them another fifty times at least. I do like the fact that they inspired this, though:

Whoever wins should be required to interview people like that.

I also enjoy the girls have to do things like play dress-up so they are not bored.

I am sure it says something that Shannon thinks dressing up as Lisa is the equivalent of the other outfits around her. Shrewd play woman, very shrewd.


Screamed producer manipulation. I mean when you tell Lisa this, it is clear what your job was supposed to be here. Also, Shannon's laugh is a little terrifying at the end there. They even bang the girls over the head with it, because Bre says this. So in the spirit of these girls needing to know their place, let's run through what the show was really looking for from each of them.

Act like a crazy.

Act like a bitch. Nice screenshot, I know.

Do not stop being a freak.

Continue with the bitchery and sassiness.

Release the bitchassness that resides within you.

Do not go batshit crazy on us this time.

More arrogance, now.

Keep the thick skin for the inevitable jokes coming your way.

Continue to stick to your token status.

Give us something else besides all the lesbian talk, cause we do not want to make your win that obvious.

More accent and over exuberance.

Stay likeable. We need you to balance out a lot of these bitches.

Be more outlandish or you are going home. Oops, too late.

So yeah that idiot said this to Kayla, which I cannot even stir up the requisite annoyance let alone anger for. Apparently I was hip five to seven years ago, who know? He explained it better when he said that being lesbian did not make Kayla unique, and that is why she needs to expand. That I can agree with.

As usual, Angelea stole the entire scene here. This? Completely true and funny. This:

Fantastic. Especially because it caused this:

Bitch looks like a skinny Ursula.

Also, I thought Bianca and Camille hate each other? What is with the closeness?

Of course the producers got exactly what they wanted, because Bianca decided to get all "Head Bitch in Charge" on everyone's ass with this.

So much crazy in those eyes.

Dominique's response was good.

That is the appropriate level of disbelief and blowjob face. Camille, however, took the freaking cake with this. Made all the better because she said it looking like this:

Freaking boss. That is an old pro there.

Then the girls headed off to their makeovers. I love the fact that Lisa showed up in the "costume" she was wearing earlier.

And I refuse to actually acknowledge this as a real thing:

What am I talking about, Ashlee Simpson or TY-Overs? We will never know.

Bre's little meltdown was interesting for a couple reasons. First off, because she threatened this, but only delivered this:

That exclamation point is not needed, because the bitch said that so calmly and quietly. Hell, this was louder. Do not get my hopes up, only to dash them with your passive melodrama. Though, I absolutely loved this:

That would have never happened on a previous cycle. She just shut his ass down so quickly; truly a beautiful thing. I hope all of the girls are that comfortable, and more things like that happen.

Furthermore, I get how some people now claim Bre looks like Cycle 14's Sundai.

But those bitches would be wrong, because she is clearly Cycle 15's Terra.

Alexandria actually provided some entertainment for once. She was just struggling so hard to be positive, it was definitely funny in a scary way.

 Then she did this:

Followed up up with this. It all just reeks of tragic desperation, which I love. This, however, was just tragic. Honey, if they think you are annoying they are not your fans. Also, she is clearly Alicia Silverstone in that picture above.

Good for Isis trying to have a personality this time around. When Bianca delivered this, I enjoyed that this was Isis' response:

Bitch could not give a fuck, and was throwing right back at Ursula. Also, she did this:

There is more personality in that one GIF than she gave for five episode of Cycle 11.

Not to be outdone, Dominique also decided to get in on the dramatics.

Angelea looks absolutely stunning now.

I mean when I saw her after her makeover I gasped a little. Woman, chestnut brown is your color. Do not ever leave it.

I get why Lisa did not want to cut her hair with the wedding come and all, but Mr. Jay was totally right when he said this.

And as for this:

As if Ms. Jay's foot would go anywhere that close to female genitalia. Do not make me laugh.

I also need explanations for these two screenshots:

What the hell is going on there with their hair? I just cannot.

As I said, the photo shoot was interesting enough and lead to some great moments. I will skip the more obvious stuff, because really this:

Way too easy.

First off, Ms. Jay really had a nice moment when Mr. Jay was explaining the shoot.

Work that room!

Then Camille got to show truly skilled she has become at her shade delivery, because this was pure genius. Especially when you consider Laura was doing this, when that was being delivered:

Most importantly, Camille made Mr. Jay look like this:

So she automatically wins in my book.

Laura had the line of the night when she asked this.

Look how adorable she looks when she is confused.

Lisa actually made an inspired choice but not having any bun. I thought the fact that the girls had to embody their word was somewhat idiotic (i.e. Kayla's task), but Lisa really pulled it off. It also helps when she says things like this.

You own that crazy lady. Go on girl!

Panel was pretty good this time around, and I was glad to see suspenders, not fedoras, are this cycle's thing.


Also hair that makes it look like you got out of the shower thirty minutes ago. Whatevs.


 Was a big "YES!" for me. Love the magical coats, but it is nice to see him something different.


 Was a big "NO!" for me. Once again, am I talking about the dress or Ashlee Simpson. We will never know. (Hint: It is both.)

Thank god Nigel finally got his hair cut.

Though, this is not the look:

Unless you are going for Sam Eagle.

Also, watching ALT slowly realize the craziness of his current situation is fascinating. Moreover, I kind of wish it went like this instead:

This show could use more open disdain directed at Tyra. Keep things fresh, you know?

This should haunt your dreams, as should this:

And so we say goodbye to our dear Sheena.
Who thinks that flowers on a hot dog tray makes everything so unexpected.

I kid because I love. I am actually going to miss Sheena, she brought the fun. This also marks the second elimination in a row where a fun bitch went home. I really hope that is not the trend for this cycle, because I will not be able to handle it.

Of course she would not have been my pick, so let's go to the photos!

Given the directives of these photo shoot, I totally agree with Lisa getting the FCO. Say what you will, but this is a great shot that fits perfectly with her brand. Maybe I am not the biggest fan of with food in her mouth, but really I cannot hate on this.
Now if we are talking which photo is just plain the best, it would be this one here. Freaking fabulous. Love her smile and the posing. She also looks like Naya Rivera from Glee. Now you cannot unsee it, can you?

Love the quirky and kicky feel of this photo. Allison has not always been that good at commercial shots, but she really sold this one.

She really looks fantastic.  Love, love love the smile. I am also okay with the lack of neck here, because I think the hair looks really good there.

This photo is definitely not tough, but it is a strong photo. Yeah she is being helped with the great styling and beautiful dress, but she is working it. The posing is great, as are the bangs in the eyes. You can choose whether she looks like Cameron Diaz or Diana Agron from Glee.

This type of shoot and look is exactly in Shannon's wheelhouse, meaning she nailed it. Also, that dress is beyond amazing. Great color and shape for her. Shannon has great poise here, but she also looks relaxed and at ease. Not an easy task.

Her eyes look really sexy here, but the messiness and mouth action push it over the edge into sluttiness for me. I appreciate the fact that she went for it, but wish she pulled it back a tad.

I am not a fan of the side eye she is giving here, and if I am completely honest, this looks a little drag-queeny. Also, her hand looks huge, and I hate her feet. Her body looks slamming though.

I think she looks very pretty here, but it is a pretty standard photo. Also, the leg is just strange. Definitely, however, should not have gone home.

I am all for campy, but this is not really working. Slamming bod, and decent idea, but poor execution.

Love you girl, but this not good. Decent posing, but the facial region is just poor. There is a reason nobody was actually eating the hot dog in there photo, because it makes your face look like that. Step it up, girl.

See, this is what happens to your face. Also, the whole leg and right arm situation is just unfortunate. You cannot help but stare at her crotch region. ALT put it best with this.

She needed to lower her chin and those eyes are just dead. Moreover, her makeover performance, while funny, really was not good. Furthermore, I get what she was trying to say with the whole "I am not 19 anymore" comment, but it just came off as defeated. Things are not looking that good for Bre, and I would have sent her packing.

Head scarves, close this bitch out!

1 comment:

  1. I actually love the opening of this cycle! The concept, their clothes and their attitude! And the music? It's a pop-rock version of ANTM's original opening song! Allison is really my bet. Good thing she's the first one introduced in the opening vid.